|"all the stuffs that you left behind won't change. you're the one that changed."|
everything seem to make sense now. with me, all by myself, struggling to complete all my daily needs started to hit me where it hurts, so this is how it feels to be on my own feet.
oh how I miss my senior high school life.
but then I know that somehow I HAVE TO move on. it's a new life, a new blank page that's waiting to be written, a new chance, I can't just blow this one up. I've learn from the best about failure in this step, getting into college-survive-graduate-get a job, once you fail it's awfully hard to get back on track and hit the road.
well, maybe I'm just blabbing around right now. I'm just a little bit drunk, perhaps.
I've never knew how does it feel to be homesick, or missing home so bad, or whatsoever. now I know how it really feels like.
it's like, the feeling of being unease on somewhere but somehow you just got to make it through, then you're automatically think of how it used to be back home. you're just started to compare things you're living through right now with the things that you used to lived back home.
it's fucking hard.
many friends of mine, that continue their study in town, envy the chance that I had to continue my study outskirt of that Jtown. well, I tell you this: try to put yourself in my shoes, see how things will go then.
I am now have an obligation to take care of my self as well as being responsible with my current study. how to balance everything - time, money, needs, fun, everything - and make the most of the day EVERYDAY. now THAT'S something you're gonna envy about.
and also, the feeling of being away from your beloved ones that used to be around you every single seconds, also killing you.
the feeling of being alone somehow is making me desperate and sad and gloomy and all. and that's uncomfortable. but again, I should prove to my parents that this is my choice, I have a full control of my life now.
now you tell me which part of those is "fun" enough for you.
being away from home it's not just about having fun without your parents knowing about it, it's all about your attitude to manage through your basic needs and main aim. it's fun, i admit, but it's full of hard work and growing-up process inside.
so stop being a bitch that telling me how lucky I am to have fun and wild without any permit from my parents.
again, I'm just homesick. all these new things kind of scare me.
i need my familiar-stuffs back.
i know. sorry for being such a crying-baby.
|This is home, I feel safe within his shadow|
|toldya, this kind of new life is boooooring. no class, laying on the corridor, doing nothing but messing around with mygirls, this is so wtf.|
|Luna loves running through these grasses :DD oh how I miss Luna :(|
|well I did try the night life, it doesn't suit me well. i felt so... blue|
|And! I INTRODUCE YOUUU! Vanilla, Si Buntung, and a box of chocolate milk! they helped mo to survive everyday *kisses*|