I need to hit the Refresh button
i've been feeling so lonely lately. i refuse to go out if it's not necessarily needed and choose my room above everything else. my bed has turned into a coffin that i longing every single second. there are dozens of films that i've watched that helped me to get through my muted nights without anybody on my side. this is wrong, i know. but i just feel so... lifeless.
my days aren't better either. i mean it's not like i'm failing on my classes, i'm not, i just bored. i used to count and calculate things, makes my head buzzing for working too hard thinking too many stuffs, unlike now. i must say that i RARELY use it lately, and it feels so damn wrong. i used to be friended with numbers that i know exactly how they'll turned out. unlike this social stuffs that really is abstract, i can never know whether i've made a mistake on my papers or not. this is also killing me! for fuckery sake could somebody just fucking please let me fucking know what fucking happen to my fucking papers after i fucking hand them out to the lecturers!!!! rrlrlrhrhrllrlrlrlrhrhrhhhh...!!!
on the other side, i really miss my bests. adjusting my self into this new environment is exhausting. i haven't found anyone that's in the same frequency with me, this really stresses me out, makes me want to run to those familiar arms that i know REALLY well :(
i want my old life back :'(