Another hardest part of LDR is when saying "Goodbye, see you again."s &there he goes. And the whole thing of being a newbie on LDR start over again, the heartache, the pain, the missing, the longing, the unease feelings, cause when you meet you feel like finally you breath again. It's comforting to smell his familiar fragrance, to touch the skin that you know so much, to see him finally. &everything started to make sense again, like this is how everything supposed to feel, supposed to be.
But then life's bitch anyway, he has to go for a living again. So like I've said, every single part of being newbie on LDR started all over again. or even worse. cause you know that you can handle this before &everything will be okay. But you just can't help it anyway. Then you'll both text each other to hold on &stay strong until the next meeting when you both know for sure will be much much much relieving.
But that's the art of LDR I guess, the part when you waving him goodbye while he's going &there's nothing you can do but to grip yourself tightly and pray for his safety. The part when you both try your hardest to support each other when the missing is killing you. The part when you both trying your hardest to keep your promises &keeping his trust. The part when you're fighting and you can't sleep then decided to call him to apologize cause you worry that he'll do something bad with his hot-head and when you call he immediately picks up &says he couldn't sleep either cause he feels bad for the fight. The part when you're super excited when you're on your way to meet him (finally) &it almost feels like you fall in love with him all over again. The part when you finally be able to meet him after everything that you both have gone through &it feels sooooo good after all. The part when you've listed everything that you're gonna tell him when you meet but then forget everything on the list because you're TOO excited (in a good way). &then repeat to the part of watching him go.
These whole parts are something that makes him a very special person to me. A person that at some times I couldn't see, I couldn't touch, I couldn't hear, I couldn't smell, but I know for sure that he's going nowhere &keeping his promises only for me. A person so far but yet so close.
Thankyou for two helluva years, Panda. you know words were never enough :)
Shanghai BW roll exp. 2005